Zhongguo Uber Alles

Believe it or not, I don’t usually get to hangout with the Chinese Communist Party’s (CCP) chief ideologues and discuss Marxist-Leninism, Maoist ideals, or communist paradigms in the Twenty First Century. But I really want to. Sure, the big bucks are in pushing widgets, but buying hearts and minds is so much more fun.

By Chinese standards my communist credentials are not pure. However, when I lived in Texas I voiced the opinions that there should be shelters for the homeless, recycling is a good idea, and better access to healthcare would probably benefit America. I was promptly labeled a Pinko. So my dear comrades will have to meet me half way.

I say all of this because the National People’s Congress (NPC) and the even more exciting People’s Consultative Political Conference (CPPCC) earlier this month, followed by the US Congress passing a healthcare reform bill, has raised my fervor for socialism. By the way, I’m sure Glenn Beck could make a connection between the two Communist political meetings in Beijing and the Democrats passing the healthcare bill, but I’m just not as smart.

Word around the karaoke bars is that the leading Politburo candidates Xi Jinping and Li Keqiang are poised to take over the government from Hu Jintao and Wen Jiabao in 2012 and everyone is jockeying for position; I’d like to join the fray. Here’s how I can help. I know a thing or two about public relations, marketing and politics, and I think I could help the incoming leaders define their platform and inspire a new generation.

In the United States political slogans and the pithy ideas they represent are great for election campaigns, but they are promptly forgotten the morning after the votes are tallied. Remember “Change we can believe in”? Eighteen months later I’m still waiting for change and I still don’t believe.

In China, on the other hand, where they have efficiently done a way with the whole electoral process and skip merrily ahead to making policy and solving problems, political slogans are the CCP’s mission statement. They are useful for codifying the Party’s values so everyone is reading off the same script and knows at any given time exactly what they should be paying lip service to.

In the PRC, ideology is serious, and they need professionals to keep the Party spinning in the same direction. I’m just their man. I dream of having heated brainstorming sessions at the Party School just a few long nights away from our pitch deadline when we have to come up with that perfect slogan and supporting campaign. We’d go to the white board and list the ‘hot button issues’ along with the driving adjectives, critical verbs and other words that would optimize search results in Google; I mean Baidu. Then we'd package it in some memorable language.

China is wonderful for these slogans, even as far back as a few hundred years ago they were in place. Han rebels fighting the Manchus bandied the catchy phrase "Fan Ching, Fu Ming" ("Overthrow the Qing and restore the Ming"), which you got to admit wouldn’t have made a bad bumper sticker. When the CCP came to power Mao’s idealism and poetry ran wild with all kinds of slogans. They are too numerous to list here, so I will simply summarize as: “Better dead than not red!” And like any good corporate leader he went to town to ‘action that statement’.

Moving a long, I’ll try to quickly summarize over twenty years of CCP jargon before describing my own ideas for new campaigns. Don’t worry; when I get there I’ll spare you the supporting demographics, consumer surveys and SWOT analysis used to justify my thoughts. However, I can produce a lovely Power Point deck if necessary.

The Deng Xiaoping era – Two quotes by the former paramount leader summarize "Socialism with Chinese Characteristics" and the introduction of sweeping economic reforms. The first was “It doesn't matter if a cat is black or white, so long as it catches mice.” This meant being ideologically pure was no longer more important than, say, having a basic understanding of macroeconomic theory. But after a team building exercise in Tiananmen Square went horribly awry in 1989, some cadres were unclear where that left reforms. So a couple years later Deng went on to clarify his thoughts with “To get rich is glorious!” After that, the capitalist road in China was an eight lane super highway with no speed limit.

The Jiang Zemin era – More of a pragmatist than a wordsmith, Jiang pretty much rode Deng’s verbal coattails until late in his career when he suddenly became worried about his legacy. Deciding he should contribute something to the Communist lexicon he bet heavily on his “Three Represents”. Oddly enough this is when The People’s Daily also started populating its website with scantily clad runway models, I guess Jiang’s wisdom didn’t do much for circulation. In a nutshell, the “Three Represents” state that the CCP should “be representative to advanced social productive forces, advanced culture, and the interests of the overwhelming majority”. Or in other words, “since we have a bunch of capitalists in our country now, we might as well invite them to join the CCP, otherwise they might get their own political agenda.”

The Hu Jintao era – If you’ve spent more than a month in China with out hearing about a “harmonious society” please tell me your secret, because except for Taco Bell’s talking Chihuahua this might be the best marketing campaign ever. If a billion people can coherently regurgitate your brand message you’ve done something right. “Harmonious society” is closely linked to another Hu era catch phrase, “scientific development”. Both essentially aim at the idea that when you introduce capitalists to your system you start having winners and losers, and the losers need to be taken care of. After all, no one knows better than the CCP that “the meek shall inherit the earth”, and they’ll probably do it with a machine gun.

By the way, as a footnote to “harmonious society” check out Wikipedia’s entry on the topic. The wiki quickly raises the corresponding issue of “river crabs”, an interesting sign of the times.

OK, so let’s get back to my dreams of creating the slogan to describe the political platform of the eventual new leaders of China. Not that they would necessarily need one to get the coveted positions of Party Secretary and President, and Premier, but it wouldn’t hurt.

When thinking about what they have to communicate and how they can galvanize the CCP and Chinese society let’s consider the coming ten years. Right now China and its leadership are riding high; clearly the PRC is continuing to ascend. However, there are fissures in the system, economic bubbles could burst and then the leaders will likely have to fall back on nationalism to maintain its mandate. This has been more or less true for three decades, but the red star over China is perhaps reaching unexpected altitudes in the wake of a global financial crisis and the relative decline of American power.

In short, things probably haven’t looked this good for the rulers of China since before the damn Limeys showed up on their doorstep with high ideals about free trade and narcotics. Therefore, the next all-encompassing CCP slogan will probably be a careful mixture of pragmatic appeals to materialistic greed or necessity (depending on which socio-economic bracket you fall in) backed by a triumphant return of chauvinism matched with a healthy dose of authoritarianism.

To summarize, the message needs to say: 1. China has returned as a superpower, 2. Never forget the CCP got us here, 3. Problems are unavoidable, but we’ll continue delivering the goods no matter what, so don’t screw with us.

I have a few suggestions; I was partially inspired by the Olympic theme of ‘One World, One Dream’ and the World Expo theme ‘Better City, Better Life’. But also in true modern Chinese fashion some intellectual property was borrowed from other successful political messages and adapted to the local market:

• Glorious Civilization, Glorious Century – while forward looking, this trades heavily on the uniqueness and longevity of Chinese culture.
• 3 to 3 (Unity, Strength and Will creates Security, Prosperity and Respect) – a Chinese audience always appreciates employing numbers and symmetry, and it saves the writer from having to be truly clever.
• Zhongguo uber alles – It’s not subtle, but it’s refreshingly militant; it also has the added benefit of being a tested and proven winner.
• Liberty (sort of) Equality (mostly) and Fraternity (sometimes) – This doesn’t exactly role off the tongue, but it is steeped in a revolutionary tradition and a moral relativism that could be appealing to a mass market.
• We are many, so there! – Inspired by E pluribus unum (Out of many, one) this just comes right out and tells it like it is.

When thinking about this topic I invariably came to the conclusion that I might as well look to the true masters for inspiration, and this is where Madison Avenue meets Zhongnanhai.

• The CCP, when you absolutely, positively have to have a government (inspired by Fedex)
• Just do what we say! (inspired by Nike)
• Don’t think different (inspired by Apple)
• We bring good things to China (inspired by GE)
• We try (inspired by Avis)
• Have it our way (inspired by Burger King)
• CCP is it! (inspired by Coke)
• you’re lov’n it (inspired by McDonald’s)
• We’re not evil (inspired by Google)
• Probably the best government in China (inspired by Carlsberg)

Well, that’s all I got. But I encourage everyone to play along and send in your suggestions. The editorial team at Red, White & Blue in China enjoys reader participation.